I suppose I should have seen it coming, he spent nearly our entire friendship running away from me but I kept dragging him back. Since then I saw him only once to get my stuff back and give him his, it's a sad way to end a friend ship. The worst part would be the giant empty space I feel in my chest, its like he took a little piece of me away with him and then just dumped it away like a piece of trash. You would expect this whole thing to be predicated by a fight or a falling out of some kind, but we had just hung out a couple of days prior to the pronouncement and everything was the same and normal. I even lost a good friend who I had started to grow close to and had only just gotten back after a while away because they were friends first. It's strange to go from spending 75% of your time with someone to spending no time with that person.
I completely broke down the day it happened, and after that I still defended what a great guy he was, but I've come to realize something. He's not a great guy, he is a jerk who took advantage of me, my family, and my home. I think that maybe I should have let him go the first time he tried to run away, then I might be better able to breathe.
Regardless of how bad he hurt me and how angry I should be. I just want that relationship back. Not him specifically but the knowing that you could call this friend because you were stranded or you didn't have money for the bus and they would be there, or that watching a cheesy movie with a pizza was a great night, or calling them at 3 am because you were scared or couldn't sleep. I don't have that now and it's the absolute worst part of losing a best friend. the absolute emptiness they leave behind when they go is like a huge cavern that used to be filled with to the top with treasure, but is now empty and in it's place is nothing a but a snapshot of what used to be there.
