The learning curve

Lately I've been on this learning curve, its a pretty steep one too. I'm learning about people around me, I'm learning about myself, and I'm learning about peoples reactions to myself. not everyone is accepting of me. I have a strong outer personality shell, it's loud and boisterous and likes to say a joke so you don't look to close. It's hard to crack that shell, a different me lurks inside. The painfully awkward girl, who still doesn't think she's pretty enough for anyone. The girl who would rather you look at her and see beauty. I don't know that many people have broken this shell, people always leave too soon. they're not willing to put in the work to break my hard outer shell. Little do they know the simple act of trying and sticking around melts it away like ice in the sun.

some of the things I've learned have shaken me out of my comfort zone and away from people who might have cared or maybe they didn't which is why they got lost in the confusion. It's hard to be happy when a lot of what you used to value in the world just gets up and walks out of it. I'm aware that this isn't forever and that my life will move forward, I just want to skip this uncomfortable part.