An Update

My days have been fun filled and work filled, I have been babysitting often. any excuse to play and get paid for it I jump at. The last time I baby sat I watched to little girls aged 2 and 3, we played princess dress up. we had a Belle and a Rapunzel. we did our hair and we painted our nails and put on make up. bright oinks and greens were the colors of the day. after everybody was sufficiently satisfied with how they looked, we all sat down to have a tea party complete with cake. It was a glorious day.

Playing with the little princesses

The other place I spend a large majority of my time has been at work. I get to wear this awesome headset that makes me look like Britney in her hey day. I am lucky that I get to work with a group of fun people everyday. We make jokes and of course we always make our deadlines. I do get bored at work on occasion when there are only a handful of phone calls and not too many appointments. Friday was a day of few appointments, I think everybody wanted the day off to recover from all the Halloween festivities. 

working away

I am lucky enough to have purchased a new car, its a cute little black Chevy Spark. I loved my Jeep, Lola the Liberty,  but I couldn't handle the gas mileage she was getting for me. My Spark has more than doubled my gas mileage. Matt insists on calling my spark the clown car, which I refuse to acknowledge. I love it, it's fun sized just like me. 

Sparky :)

This Halloween I spent it with my family volunteering at Olive wood Gardens just like last year. I think the pictures speak for themselves.

On to November and as always my promise to post more!

Tiger Tiger

Today is Wednesday, and I am at work. 

Yesterday I could not come into work because my batteries got drained from overuse, so I plugged in for a day and did a manual reset. Matty made me stay home in bed because I had been feeling so bad for so long. 

The rest was much needed and I would say that my batteries are almost back at full charge again. which is good because Matt is taking me out to this place in our neighborhood called Tiger Tiger, it should be a fun low key evening.

We have pretty much finished moving in and getting our lives all set up, 

we are so in love with the area it is absolutely perfect for Matt and I. Living with Matt is amazing, He kisses me goodbye every morning and good night every night. He still does sweet little things like Redbox the movies I wanna see, and say with a slight cringe on his face that "sure, we can watch princess and the frog if you really want." Laughter abounds in our cozy little apartment, and clashing decorating sense. So far were navigating this whole living together thing just fine. Was trying to get everything moved in a timely and orderly  and O.C.D. fashion easy with Mr. laid back Matt? No, but it happened and were moved and hopefully we won't have to move for a while yet. Or if we do, I wont be a gypsy like I was this time. 

Last week Matt and I went to the Paul Thorn show at the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach

Paul and I after the show...He hugged me :)

Matt and I Rockin' Out!

Watching the show :)

Matt and Paul...He got a hug too :)

and a little treat, one of my favorite Paul Thorn songs

Pimps and Preachers 

It's been a while

Its been quite a while since I have blogged, life gets in the way of being online sometimes. 

Life has been moving in an extremely positive direction, I have fallen in love with the most amazing man, I work at a job that has enabled me to move in with this man, I have surrounded myself with some good friends and let go of the ones who weren't so good, I lost a puppy but I got a new one, I've said a bittersweet farewell to my childhood home, and everyday has been like a new adventure. 

In the last few months I have come to have a much deeper connection with my family and can honestly say that they are more than my parents but some of my closest friends and confidants. There is no better feeling then coming home from a long day and plopping down on the couch next to your mom and having a real conversation about your day and your life. I've shed a few tears in realizing that when I move in with Matt on the 2nd that I will no longer have this option, I can't get upset and cry for no reason and have my mommy to comfort me, I can't get sick and have my dad make me his chicken noodle soup, I won't be able to walk out of my room at 7:30 and eat dinner while yelling the answers on jeopardy with them. The situation makes me sad, but at the same time I am over-the-moon excited to be moving in with Matt. 

                                        Family on my birthday                                            Matty boo and I

When it comes to Matt I have never met anybody so loving, funny, quirky, determined, focused, scattered, creative, and amazing. The first time I met Matt I knew it would be something big for me. He scared me and excited me, I wanted t get to know this great personality and figure out his quirks, his favorite foods, his fears, and the things that made him fearless. It hasn't been exactly a cakewalk but we complement each so well it doesn't need to be. We have struggled with living just out of arms reach for nearly 8 months. He lives a 45 minute drive away so anytime I wanted to just sit and watch movies on the couch with him I had to drive and plan and push other plans, it has definitely been a struggle because he's so close but at the same not close enough. I also don't share well with others making it hard to give up any of the time I did have with him. Now I can hardly wait the 7 days until we can move into our apartment, this will be a whole new world for both of us. 

   

K+M= <3

I have been working my little tail off to make this big new world work for me. I have been working full-time at a real estate company for about 6 months and absolutely love it. I love the people,the business is fun, and I like the paycheck. In addition to working at the real estate company I also have been working at Bath and Body Works as part of the floor-set team. I help get the store ready when there are new products or sales. I have also been trying to up my number of babysitting clients so that I babysit at least 2 to 3 times a month. In fact I have another babysitting meet and greet this weekend. I have also been pawning myself off to the people I know as a great house sitter. I am currently house sitting for a friend of my parents. they have the cutest little pug in the entire world. They in a part of San Diego called Crest. It is up this mountain area, I have gotten up before 6:00 am every morning this week just to see the sunrise. Its the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen.this is coming from somebody who hates waking up early though, so maybe its just really seeing a sunrise for the first time . Waking up in the house has made me look ever toward my future, Someday I want to wake up on a Saturday and plop down on the couch with my dog and watch the morning music videos while I figure out what I am going to do for the day. I want to wake up tun on the coffee pot and kiss Matt good morning (yup I love him enough to endure morning breath), the dreams are small but they are mine. 

A Crest Sunrise

So to conclude this out of character long post I will just say stay tuned for more from me! I would like to start updating more!

From 2 to 1

I recently lost a friend who was very dear to me. I still don't entirely understand why he chose to end our friendship. It's not up to me though, he is allowed to do whatever he wants and be friends or not friends with whoever he chooses. Am I mad? Am I hurt? Do I feel entirely betrayed? Yes. He was my best friend, I shared nearly everything with him and he cast me aside as if nearly three years of friendship didn't matter.

I suppose I should have seen it coming, he spent nearly our entire friendship running away from me but I kept dragging him back. Since then I saw him only once to get my stuff back and give him his, it's a sad way to end a friend ship. The worst part would be the giant empty space I feel in my chest, its like he took a little piece of me away with him and then just dumped it away like a piece of trash. You would expect this whole thing to be predicated by a fight or a falling out of some kind, but we had just hung out a couple of days prior to the pronouncement and everything was the same and normal. I even lost a good friend who I had started to grow close to and had only just gotten back after a while away because they were friends first. It's strange to go from spending 75% of your time with someone to spending no time with that person.

I completely broke down the day it happened, and after that I still defended what a great guy he was, but I've come to realize something. He's not a great guy, he is a jerk who took advantage of me, my family, and my home. I think that maybe I should have let him go the first time he tried to run away, then I might be better able to breathe.

Regardless of how bad he hurt me and how angry I should be. I just want that relationship back. Not him specifically but the knowing that you could call this friend because you were stranded or you didn't have money for the bus and they would be there, or that watching a cheesy movie with a pizza was a great night, or calling them at 3 am because you were scared or couldn't sleep. I don't have that now and it's the absolute worst part of losing a best friend. the absolute emptiness they leave behind when they go is like a huge cavern that used to be filled with to the top with treasure, but is now empty and in it's place is nothing a but a snapshot of what used to be there.

Vices

Everybody has their vices, my favorite vices at the moment are Ice Cream (because I have tried to cut my consumption in half, its hard when your friend works at Baskin Robbins) , art(the hours of studying of a picture leads my mind down paths that sometimes are too long to follow and sometimes they come up short) , and french fries (most junk food is easy to resist accept those darn cafeteria french fries at Southwestern).

For now I have to admit that not all vices can be contained, some are necessary for mental well-being. For instance, art. It takes my mind away from the moment and leads to day dreaming but the places my mind goes can never be translated to canvas. I like that place, so what if I day dream and scribble little sketches on my notebook?

The food is necessary for a little enjoyment, you can't deny yourself all of life's physical pleasures is to deny yourself that which has the potential to make you happy. Food brings people together, polite arguing with a new friend over which ice cream flavor better bonds you, conversation over good food leads to lightening of the conversation. Sharing a meal means sharing a distinct part of yourself, your true unadulterated tastes.

Another day of average

Today is Tuesday and that means that I am at school. School feels so draining even though all I do is sit in a classroom and absorb information like a sponge. Granted it's kind of like a sponge that you've had forever and is all dried out and needs to be replaced but some of the information is still retained. You wouldn't think a mental work out could be so exhausting. This last weekend I learned the importance of friends but I also learned the importance of being your own best friend. No best friend can be there for you all the time, only you can be there for yourself 24/7. I admit that sometimes having that outside support is nice and some experiences aren't meant to be singular, but if you are your own best friend your own happiness isn't wrapped up in another persons acceptance of you.

Weekend Enlightenment

I've discovered that happiness isn't tied to those oh so important interpersonal relationships everyone seems to find so easy when you're on the outside looking in. I realized this wekend that it's not that easy, nobody has it that easy. Everybody has to work at those relationships, and not every relationship has to work out. It's hard to come to grips with the idea that not everybody is going to like you, and you're not going to like them.

Channeling my frustrations with certain interpersonal relationships into positive actions for my own well-being is a long overdue release of tension. Soccer and laughter and being in the open air provided such a positive tension release. Best weekend in a while.

As of late...

As of late I feel like I'm slowly being suffocated by the world around me, I feel like everything is in achingly slow motion. I have fallen into a funk that I can't seem to shake. I nitpick every one around me, myself most of all. I have no faith in my body's abilities anymore, I'm slowly losing faith in my friends, I am losing faith in my own mind. I feel no drive and no motivation, I see other people smile and I only feel a deep cutting melancholy. I know I am no fun to be around anymore, even my best friend doesn't want to make plans with me anymore. I can't blame them either, I wouldn't want to hang out with the sad girl all the time either. I'm running out of life lines...

It's Superbowl Sunday

So it's Superbowl Sunday, and that really has no effects on my life... but I figured that's how I would title today.

Today I will be babysitting! I get to run around with some little tykes today, which should be fun.

Tomorrow I am plannin on hanging with a friend, I have no idea what were doing yet. We aren't even making solid plans because every time we do something happens. So this time we decided that we were just gonna leave the day open and see whats up.

It is just under 2 weeks until I go to San Francisco, I think I'm most excited about getting to tour SF State. My major is listed as impacted however, so my chances are kind of slim. Well I hope I get to tour it, you have to make an appointment after February 9th which is just 9 days before we wanna take the tour. I'll post pics from the trip for sure!

Second Week Of Spring Semester 2011

So far the spring semester has been off to a very sleepy start. My classes begin at 8:00 am which means I must take the 7:00 am bus which means that I wake up at 6:00 am each day. At least I did that for the first few days of classes. Now my mother takes me to school which means I get to sleep in a whole 25 ish minuites longer if I want to! Don't you just love parents sometimes?

I cannot remember at the moment when my last post was but I recently turned 20 years old. Which I suppose is a big deal. I am no longer a teenager, this must automatically mean that I am an adult with all those characteristics. Well...maybe not, but I'm working on it. I do like being 20 though, it does feel as if I'm just a little bit wiser. I do realize though that I am still yuiong and have lots to experience.

speaking of experience, I am going to San Francisco in about a month. My mom and I are going on our annual presidents day weekend girly getaway (aah, the sweet sound of alliteration). I am ridiculously excited to eb going on this trip. I love, love , LOVE San Francisco. While we are there we plan to take a tour of California State University Fresno. So far I haven't really had plans to transfer there but I do love the area and why not shoot for the moon?

The moon! Recently I have been getting a hankering to get out under the clear night sky and just feel small compared to it all. I have started an astronomy class this semester and it is really quite interesting, much more ibnteresting than I thought it would be. My teacher has this lovely dry sense of humor, today for instance we were in the planetarium getting an introduction to the sky and he had recordings that would play loud over the speakers. they were clip0s from star wars or the simpsons, it was funny in context....I guess you just had to be there...oh well for you.


this post has gotten rather long so I suppose I bid you adieu til' the next post. I'm aiming for next week but I don't know for sure if that will happen.

Little Lion Man

	Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Christmas Eve

So I write this morning looking out over boats as the sun rises slowly through the sky.

Tonight is my family's annual Christmas Eve party, I am really looking forward to it. My entire family will be there; Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, and even a few Second Cousins. I look forward to this night all year, I'm especially looking forward to it this year because I didn't have to help with any of the set-up!

It probably feels like I haven't written on my blog in forever and I apologize most humbly for that. the last few weeks my computer has been on the fritz but it is fixed now thanks to my Mac Genius Kayla. Because it is fixed I decided to start this morning off with a blog post.

Living alone can be...well kind of lonely. I enjoy it for the most part though, I have spent the last few days wrapping presents in my own special way. The view outside my windows is amazing and I even have a back deck from which to enjoy it. I guess this update is just to assure the world that I am ok and livin' well.

My Brother i getting married

This week has been filled with crazy realizations that "holy crap! my brothers getting married!"

Moody Monday

Today is moody Monday. I dislike Mondays and therefore have decided to be moody today. In addition to deciding to be moody, I have a very bad headache. I want to nap but I have work in a few hours so thats BOOOOO!!!!!

This Aint Nothin'

This Aint Nothin' by Craig Morgan is on my mind this afternoon. The lyrics are about an inner strength and how the material things aren't the things that matter. The things that matter are the relationships you have with the people around you. It makes me really thankful for the friends that I have and the family that loves me. Who knew that a sad country song would make me turn inward today? :p

Friday night I went to the Padres game with Patrick, Meagan and Gaston. Pics to follw :)